Arguing for God's Glory

A common experience for married couples engaged in any conflict involves the development of a myopic vision and understanding of the issues. Each person finds themselves tempted to judge the desires of their own heart as being of more inherent worth than those of their spouse. 

They only compare and contrast the points of each other’s arguments, jostling for a position of moral and ethical superiority. Only rarely do they stop to ask individually or together, “How are we seeking to glorify God with the details of our argument?”

Placing themselves and their individual desires at the center of the relationship, the resulting dynamic is a battle of wills involving a winner and a loser, rather than the expression of biblical "one flesh" union and mutual submission (Genesis 2:24; Ephesians 5:22; 25). Instead of the conflict dissolving into an opportunity for grace to flow horizontally toward one another, the relationship is strained under the weight of their own selfish cravings (James 4:1).

Couples who recognize this common temptation serve their marriage well when they stop to prayerfully examine how their individual arguments are advancing the glory of God in their home. As a matter of personal and marital sanctification, this exercise teaches the couple to take the spotlight off one another, and to instead fix their gaze on Christ and the Gospel, the proper source and foundation of biblical marriage.

Five Reasons for Married Couples to Argue for God's Glory

1. Because all marital conflict, at bottom, is a conflict with God, vertically, before it is a conflict with a spouse, horizontally (Psalm 51:4).

2. Because Christians are called to steward all of life, even marital conflict, for the glory of God (Colossians 3:17; Westminster Shorter Catechism Q.1.).

3. Because Christians are called to consider others as more important than themselves and to look out for the interests of others, not just their own. (Philippians 2:3-4).

4. Because God will one day judge every careless word spoken (Matthew 12:36).

5. Because God is jealous for His glory (Isaiah 42:8).

What would you add to this list?

Arguing for the Glory of God Homework Exercise